Updated SAT exam for American university entrance

new-sat

Reposted from The New Yorker, 16 April 2014, the piece contributed by Nathan Burstein.

Directions: Match the italicized slanty word or phrase with its meaning.

1.Mike, like, likes Emily, but not like that. The best meaning of “like” is:

(a) you know
(b) um
(c) similar to
(d) derives pleasure from
(e) lolz

2. Mrs. Fisher explained that the Latin weird expression carpe diem means “seize the day.” “Seize the day” means:

(a) F.T.W.
(b) it is what it is
(c) twerking
(d) YOLO

3. John threw a party when his parents went away, and it was a catastrophe. “Catastrophe” means:

(a) epic fail
(b) #latergram
(c) T.T.Y.L.
(d) sup

4.Kelsey was having an identity crisis issue ish. “Identity” means:

(a) Self-conception based on social, political, religious, physical, and other distinctive personal characteristics
(b) Twitter handle
(c) Tumblr account
(d) personal brand

5. Doug’s grandpa is a big Internet troll. “Troll” means:

(a) a magical dwarf who lives in nature
(b) a provocateur person who goes online and writes offensive things just to rile people up
(c) a kind of doll that I played with in kindergarten
(d) Donald Trump

Select Pick the word or phrase that DOESN’T fit.

6. ____ always using Snapchat.

(a) Your
(b) You’re
(c) Ur
d) Yore

7. The 2004 movie “Mean Girls” is ____.

(a) classic
(b) old-school
(c) a satire of high-school behavior adapted from a best-selling work of nonfiction, written by Tina Fey and starring Lindsay Lohan
(d) old

8. Dave knew he’d be there, so he told his teacher, “See ya then, ____.”

(a) bro
(b) brah
(c) Mr. Edwards
(d) dude

9. When he got to college, Jason discovered that his research skills were severely deficient very bad. “Research” means:

(a) Google stuff
(b) Wikipedia stuff
(c) search for information, both online and at the library
(d) Facebook-stalk

10. The rafting trip was really ____.

(a) cool
(b) kewl
(c) exhilarating
(d) awesome

Essay: Please compose write an essay of at least four tweets in length about a subjecttopic thing of your choosing. Don’t forget to use punctuation and stuff.

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